"The wedding-planning path is fraught with opportunities to dive right into 'etiquette hell,'" wedding consultant Jeanne Hamilton said. "You have the opportunity to do this well, to the blessing of all, or do this poorly, to the detriment of those whom you love."
Do not yield to the "dark side of the Wedding Force," warns Hamilton, author of the book "Wedding Etiquette Hell" (Dunne). While the wedding is about you, it's not all about you.
•Don't brag about cost: No one cares if your gown is a $20,000 Alexandra Payne original or a $20 Alex Trebek leftover.
"Brides who obsess over diamond size and cost give the feminine gender a bad name by drooling over a choice diamond like bone-hungry dogs," Hamilton said. It's petty and will alienate loved ones.
•No dueling over wedding dates: You don't own the calendar. Demanding no one hold a wedding within six months of yours "labels you a classic Bridezilla," Hamilton said.
And if your petty sister announces a quickie wedding two weeks before you, suck it in. Mean people do mean things to get a reaction from us. Don't give her the satisfaction. Your wedding will be bigger, better and more memorable.
•Bridal registries are not cash cows: In her book, Hamilton exposes a grotesque wedding scam. Some couples use store registries to load up on unwanted expensive gifts they return for the cash or store credits. Some stores now limit registry returns to curb such gross behavior.
•Beware the ribbon: Some couples rope off sections of the church so close friends and family aren't lost in a dark corner. But no one (including the minister) should single out those "within the ribbon" as being particularly special to the couple. It's crass and reminds those outside the VIP section that they don't quite measure up.
•Don't keep guests waiting: It's bad enough that guests must fight off hunger pangs while the photographer completes the shoot, but some couples take afternoon side-trips or huddle in the hotel bar to watch a football game.
•No cash bars: You have no obligation to serve alcohol, and Hamilton offers legitimate reasons not to, from the cost to tempting the family alcoholics. But if you do offer spirits, pay for it. Guests should never have to crack open their wallets.
